It's no secret that Lisa Ann and I are very good friends. We bounce many ideas and thoughts off each other, and I would do anything in the world for her. She is arguably the most popular current porn star in the world, and she is well aware of this fact. She is her own brand, and her business and marketing strategy is second to none. She understands how the porn industry works, and tightly controls almost every aspect of her career.
In other words, she is not only an anomaly, but a beacon for any of the other porn stars to model themselves and their career. She is the queen of her universe, and quite frankly I think she is one of the most impressive people I have ever had the chance to meet.
She began her career in this business at the tender age of 18, when she left Pennslyvania and headed to Los Angeles. She was almost immediately signed to an exclusive contract, and had a very nice porn career. Then she made a decision to work on her personal life, and left the business to pursue owning a normal business not far from Los Angeles.
Our story of friendship begins in 2006. She had received an offer from Derek Hay, owner of LA Direct Models, to re-enter the adult industry as a talent agent. At that time, I was one of the models on his site. Now, I knew who she was already, as I had jerked off to some of her porn back in the day. lol
Now this gorgeous, amazing woman was sitting at a desk in front of me wearing a black business suit, with her huge and awesome boobs bursting out. OMG. She is very quick witted, and we hit it off almost immediately. We worked together for Suze & Holly Randall in one of her first boy girl scenes back, and it was incredible. She is petite, but firm, with awesome boobs, and an amazing ass. Once again - OMG. After that scene, we worked together again for Zero Tolerance in a shower scene, and then again for Naughty America in this POV scene - HERE.
By 2008, we were still friends, having survived a falling out or three, as stubborn Taurus tend to have. lol One thing about Lisa is that when she switches from happy to angry....watch out. By the way, our birthdays are a day apart (mine is May 8 and hers is May 9). As a matter of fact, she guest blogged one of my last entries of the year - HERE . I was then and still am very thankful to have her in my life.
Since then, our friendship has grown and matured, when I was producing for Naughty America, I hired her as much as possible, and she of course killed it as usual. She really is an incredible performer, she loves sex, loves the thrill of having the camera present, and knows how to make a good scene great. Throw her any scenario, performer, or location and she will adapt and thrive.
I moved to London in August of 2011 and so our friendship became one on skype and BBM. She kept me in the loop on all the happenings in LA, and all of her personal ups & downs. In one of the nicest things she has ever done for me, Lisa flew to London for a weekend just to spend time with me! We had a fantastic time together (with the exception of my snoring keeping her awake) - we shopped at Harrod's, worked out, watched soccer together, and just enjoyed each other's company.
Then I moved back to LA, and since then, we chat almost every day and spend time together whenever possible. I honestly can't imagine my life without Lisa Ann involved in it.
Okay, now that you are caught up on the past, let's talk about my weekend. Lisa Ann is a very accomplished feature dancer. Feature dancers are porn stars that travel to strip clubs around the United States and dance in shows, meet their fans, and sell their merchandise. It is an alternate revenue stream to just performing, and some good money can be made if you do things the right way.
But being a feature dancer is not all unicorns and cotton candy, there is a lot of work and many pitfalls to avoid. Lisa Ann is obviously at the top of the food chain, and is in demand at most clubs. She treats feature dancing like a business, there is nothing left to chance (actually that's her whole life in a nutshell).
She has a normal roadie that she (and many other top porn stars use) - Robert aka Payaso (his twitter is - HERE) - but he was unavailable for this weekend. So she asked me to take his place and join her in the tropical locale of fabulous Hartford, Connecticut. lol
I couldn't say no of course, I am always willing to help her out, plus I enjoy her company (and we had our own hotel rooms so I couldn't annoy her with my snoring). So, I packed my bags and met her at her secure compound at an undisclosed location.
One tidbit about Lisa, she is a very private person, and very cognizant of the unstable nature of some "fans". So she is always, and I mean always vigilant about her fans becoming fanatics. And rightly so.
We headed to the airport on a red-eye late Thursday evening. She is a genius when it comes to air travel, so we were first class the entire trip there and back. BONUS! For someone 6'5 and 240 pounds, the extra room in first class was greatly appreciated.
Another tidbit about Lisa Ann, she is a fucking MASTER at sleeping during flights. I mean, within like 2 minutes of takeoff, she is out cold. I usually am too, but she looked so peaceful sleeping in this huge seat. lol
We arrived in Hartford and were picked up by the manager of the first club. This booking was for 2 different clubs owned by the same guy, and located about 10 minutes apart from each other. A large part of my duties included carrying her luggage to and from everywhere. She brought a large suitcase, a hard suitcase full of her costumes, a duffel bag full of merchandise, and 2 carryon suitcases with makeup and various necessities. Add my suitcase (that she filled with more merchandise) and I had my hands full.
We checked into our hotel room around 1pm. Both of us passed out in our rooms for a few hours, then headed to the gym for a quick workout. We had quiet time to ourselves until the same manager picked us up at 9pm to take us to the club.
On route to the club, we approached a police DUI checkpoint. And of course, the driver didn't have his driver's license. Yikes! But surprisingly he had insurance, registration, AND his DL was clean! Of course Lisa and I had a blast texting each other some funny comments about it though. And now we are onwards to the club.
The first club was basically one large room with a long stage in the middle. There was no dressing room for feature dancers (she sure as hell isn't going to change in the dressing room with the house dancers - that's just a bad idea for like 542 reasons) so we had to work out of the kitchen.
lol - not exactly ideal, but she made the best of it. Part of her job is smiling through obstacles and then overcoming them. Here is the aforementioned stage.
Lisa Ann is radically different anyone I have met in this business. She is EXTREMELY business minded AND professional. She tells people exactly what she wants and how she wants it. When she hits the club, she knows what she needs to get done and she isn't shy in asking for it. I was sent to the DJ booth to give him her music (which of course he tried to screw up a few times, but Lisa wouldn't let him).
My next task was rolling up 36 promo posters of her so she could throw them to fans during her show (and then sign them afterward at her merchandise table).
Then I dealt with the manager who made probably the dumbest fucking comment I have ever heard when he said to me (with her standing about 5 feet behind me) and I quote "i hate when we have features here, its more work for me, and I still get paid the same" WOAH! I think he might have been drunk. lol
Lisa was already frustrated with changing in the kitchen, no privacy, and now this idiot says that? unbelievable. To her credit, she kept her cool and went out and did a rocking show!
Lisa Ann puts on a great performance. Of course she was Sarah Palin for the first show (which consists of four 3 minute songs) and damn she really moves like a professional dancer. She did the splits at least 5 times...WOW...I didn't even know she could do them at all. Truly incredible.
After she finished her show, I helped her down off the stage, she exited back to her "dressing room" and I picked up all of the money thrown to her on the stage. Then I headed back to the "dressing room" - grabbed all of her merchandise and set up a table out near the stage.
I guess they aren't used to feature dancers selling merchandise? Because the table was set up right in front of the room for private dances. So house girls were constantly going back and forth with patrons while Lisa & I are trying to sell merchandise and meet her fans. Not really an ideal scenario and really annoying.
There was about an hour in between her sets, and she went back up at 1am and rocked it again. Very impressive stuff. I was also impressed with the amount of fans she has, and their dedication. Someone ripped the promo poster off the bathroom wall and had her sign it. lol - check out the outfit she was rocking for her show. DAMN!!!!!
Our night completed, I counted, faced, and changed her money into higher denominations, then handed it to her. We then proceeded to go back to the hotel where I promptly passed out.
The next day she was scheduled to do a photoshoot with Extreme Magazine, which is owned by the same person who owns the club. But it was scheduled at 3pm and was 30-60 minutes away from the hotel. So if you are any good at math, and you know that she has to get to the club to start her show at 9pm, and you know how particular photographers are, well my friends....that schedule has trouble written all over it.
And for someone like Lisa Ann, who tightly controls her schedule, is extremely cognizant of her worth, AND is sensitive to people attempting to take advantage of her and her brand, well she just isn't going to fucking allow that to happen....ever
While we were working out at the hotel gym, I got to hear her make a serious business call to multiple people spelling out just what was going to happen. Let's just say that they rescheduled the photoshoot for a later date in New York City.
Tonight we were at the other club in the same area. The owner seemed to be much more laid back tonight. He is a large bald New Yorker type, wearing a sportcoat and corduroys. He told us about his 2nd home in Florida, his Porsche, and his boat. Owning a strip club seems like a lucrative investment. His treatment of Lisa Ann was much better tonight than the first night.
This club was called Hollywood, and it was really cool. One big open room, dark but not too dark, and lots of TV's turned to sports. The girls were cute but very plain to be honest. What stood out to me was the number of ladies and couples that came out to see Lisa dance. It was really cool to see so many girls that were fans of hers. Lisa signed at least 5 boobs and nipples tonight.
Actually the whole night went super smooth. It was a better designed club, she had her own dressing room in a private office, she had more fans (that also bought more merchandise), and it just had a more professional vibe. Lisa Ann was pleased and in a good mood (plus she got paid for the entire gig - which would put a smile on anyone's face).
We headed back to the hotel with a new driver, who was a super nice guy (Lisa Ann gave his wife a signed DVD), but had a car that was in desperate need of new brakes. We took an hour nap, packed our stuff again, and checked out of the hotel around 4am to head back to the airport to catch the early flight home to Los Angeles.
The flight home was fantastic, we slept almost the entire way, one of our planes was a new Boeing 777, which was HUGE and very modern. Then we picked up our luggage and headed back to her car.
I finally commited my first major error of the trip. I packed her suitcases incorrectly in her car, which caused her a lot of distress. She had me fix them before we left of course. We made it home, I stayed to unpack and watch her do a "creeper check" of her house, she paid me (far too much but I am very appreciative), and then we parted ways.
Overall it was an interesting trip, and because of her skill in dealing with airlines, the travel was easy peasy. I came away from the experience with a much greater appreciation of how hard Lisa works at her craft, and how there are so many pitfalls that I assume most other feature dancers fall into...oh and don't ever pack her luggage wrong.
