Hello loyal readers, just want to warn you right off the bat to get your coffee, red bull, chocolate, popcorn, cocaine, or whatever else out because this is going to be a long one.
As everyone knows I left Los Angeles on August 15th for England. There were many factors in my decision to take an extended trip away, not the least of which was that my failed relationship with Phoenix Marie was really taking its toll on my psyche.
Right as I was leaving for the airport on my way to London, Phoenix and I had our first great conversation in months, although we definitely aren't back together, we realize that being in each others lives makes both of us happier and more content people. And who knows about the future.
So Phoenix birthday is September 21st, and this year was special because she is turning the big THREE OH. Yikes! Just as an aside, for my 30th birthday I was in Vegas, drinking tequila out of the bottle with my friends from Bellagio around 11pm, and woke up at 7am in my car in the parking lot of the Gold Coast with throw up outside the window, and Palms casino chips on my front seat......with no memory of anything in between. Good times.
I wanted to make sure her 30th birthday was one that she would remember the rest of her life. So I asked her to come to Rome with me for 5 days. Neither of us had ever been, and I had heard it was a very romantic, very old, very picturesque, and clearly very Catholic place to visit.
She paid for her own flight to London, and then I paid for our flights from London to Rome. Which I fucked up by booking our flights to leave at 6am when she didn't arrive in London until 230pm. So I had to change them at a cost of 500 bucks extra.
It was good to finally see her again. We hadn't seen each other since early June. We hugged and kissed, and then sat down for a meal in the airport before our flight.
She looked gorgeous as usual and without any makeup.
Check out the sweet jacket I bought her as a present! I love it. It was also to thank her for helping me on Twitter with some affiliate sales to her FANTASTIC official website from Premiumcash that you can check it (and hopefully join) here - PHOENIX MARIE WEBSITE
And she came bearing gifts for me as well...look its a brand new Texas Longhorns cap!
Phoenix was very excited about her trip. She had never been outside of Arizona, California, or Utah before she got into the porn business. Now she has been to the Bahamas, Mexico, Canada, England, and now Italy! Reason #4519128 why porn is an awesome job.
Alitalia Air is the major carrier for the Italians. I caught Phoenix reading my tour guide for our trip. By the way, I bought a great book to read on the flight....and when I opened it on the plane, I realized that I had already read the fucking thing. What is going on with me?
So when we landed in Rome at 1130pm, we got into a cab and headed to our hotel. Oh and I forgot to change my pounds into euros, and all the money exchange places were closed. I was almost screwed. I had to get an ATM (which costs a fortune in fees).
I booked the trip online at Hotels.com for 1000 dollars for 5 nights. When we arrived at the hotel, the night manager looked at us like we were crazy. Our names were not on the register. I quickly checked my hotel itinerary printout....and I had booked October 20-25 with a nonrefundable clause to boot!
The night manager couldn't really do much, and he only had 1 room available for the night...a junior single with no private bathroom (which means that there is one bathroom/shower for the 6 rooms in the hall). Phoenix was not impressed.
Here is our HUGE room.
Here is me hogging up the tiny twin bed we "shared"
Here I am after I got banished to sleeping on the floor.
A little FYI for you - I can sleep anywhere and at any time. Its a gift I have had forever. Nothing is too uncomfortable for me to catch some zzz's.
The next morning, I was up and ready to go. The weather in Rome was really hot and sunny like in the upper 80s, low 90s and very humid. Oh and Phoenix was much better prepared for international travelling this time around. She didn't wear a ton of makeup. She wore normal"ish" clothing and sensible shoes. I was very proud of her. Unfortunately she did decide to bring a GIGANTIC camera complete with huge carrying case. Check her out trying to shoot pictures with this monster.
We were at the Basilica of Santa Maria Maggoire. It was huge and very pretty.
As we headed inside, the guard stopped Phoenix because she had bare shoulders and short shorts. They made her wear this SEXY getup.....so hot!
The inside of the church was super awesome and very ornate. Simply amazing. You read about its history - HERE - this church was built in the year 432. That makes it over 1500 years old! Just incredible.
Phoenix wanted to go see the Opera.....so I had to gently explain to her that the Muppets Opera wasn't something that occured in real life. lol
After leaving the Basilica, we walked about a mile south to the Colosseum, the Ruins, and the Monument of Vittorio Emmanuele. Every intersection you pass in Rome is crazy because in the distance there is some mysteriously cool architecture. It makes it hard to decide which direction to travel.
Or you pass by about 100 churches that all look to be 1000 years old.
Its a vast area of the city, with unbelievable architecture all around us.
Of course all Phoenix cared about was taking pictures of motorcycles. Sigh.
The Monument of Vittorio Emmanuele was first up on the excursion, and its a HUGE edifice with a million steps upward. Check out the history of it - HERE
The tomb of the Unknown Soldier is in there.
Phoenix enjoyed this painting a lot - very cool.
And when you finally reach the top of the building, the view of the city is amazing. You can see some of the major Basilica's off in the distance.
After that we walked another mile between buildings to see the ruins. It looked like someone was filming a documentary in there. Good stuff.
There was a cool statue of Julius Caesar along the walk to the Colosseum. The initials SPQR are found all over the city and have been around for thousands of years. What they mean can be found - HERE . Everyone today generally knows those initials from being carved on Russell Crowe in the movie Gladiator. That is also the only tattoo I would ever think about getting by the way. But don't hold your breath.
And here we are at the Colosseum.
It was a huge structure and looks exactly like a modern football stadium. We paid 15 euros each for the ridiculous headsets and we were off!
I was struck by the gradient of the stairs, it was very steep and rose fast. The floor of the stadium is obviously gone, and the rooms and cells underneath are visible.
They reproduced a small portion of the arena floor in one of the corners
Did you know they used to flood the arena floor and hold fake naval battles for the crowd? How fucking awesome is that? I would LOVE to see that in real life.
One of the big Roman archways was visible from our spot in the Colosseum.
After we finished our tour of the Colosseum, Phoenix was DYING. And we had another 2 mile walk back to the hotel. I forced her to walk about a mile, then she convinced me to get a gelato (the national ice cream of Rome).
Then it back to the hotel and time for a good long nap.
Since it WAS Phoenix birthday today, I couldn't be too hard on her. When we woke up I had already sent our plans for dinner.
We were headed to Gioia Mia, a non-tourist place that was recommended by someone I trust to know about the local fare.
And it was perfect! Our waiter was an older gentlemen who treated us like kings. He recommended some great dishes for us, like artichokes (they were delicious).
Phoenix had some fantastic pasta (arrabiata style).
Of course I had to get her a bottle of champagne to celebrate! And guess what....we drank the whole thing! (and once again I am going to skip the obvious and easy champagne bottle in her vagina for Brazzers joke - lets try to stay classy tonight people).
Of course she had to take a twit pic of herself
After dinner, we headed to the most romantic spot in Rome, the Fountains at Trevi...
We were not the only ones who thought it was romantic either.
Phoenix and I threw coins in the fountain for good luck.
Then had a romantic scene with a kiss. Awwwww
Afterward, it was time for more glorious gelato together and then back to our hotel and off to bed (they upgraded us to a slightly bigger room with our own bathroom for the night).
The next morning, the Hotel Saturnia was fully booked, so I had to book a different hotel at a cost of 450 bucks total for 3 nights. It was on the other side of the city, but it was much nice than the other one.
The Summit Roma Hotel
Today we relaxed in the hot Roman sun out by our fantastic Olympic sized pool, slept in (Phoenix was asleep on this trip more than she was awake to be honest), ate a lazy lunch at the hotel and then geared up for our evening.
I was going to attempt to scalp 2 tickets into the AS Roma football (soccer) match tonight at the Stadio Olympico (Olympic Stadium).
And we did it! 50 euros each for 12th row seats behind the goal! BOOM!
The stadium is massive and seats 72,000 people. There were probably about 50,000 at this match. We were in the middle of a huge AS Roma cheering section where they
Waved a ton of flags wildly around the entire match
Threw flares onto the field during game action
Yelled, screamed, and cursed at the visiting section of fans, all 20 of them huddled in a tiny corner of the stadium.
Smoked cigarettes non-stop right there in their seats.
How about the fact that Roma is sponsored by Playboy? Love it!
AS Roma scored in the first half and were ahead 1-0 the rest of the match until the 88th minute when Siena equalized and the match ended in a draw.
Great stadium, great atmosphere, great match. It was truly a great experience.
After the match, we checked out the track and field stadium next to it and the various statues of Roman athletes.
The closest I will ever get to being in the Olympics.
I am going to pass on this obvious joke too.....feel free to make your own though.
Check out this super cute car that Phoenix liked...and I liked it too. lol
We walked probably 1.5 miles from the stadium to get out of congestion, and finally found a decent pizzeria - Il Ciociaro.
I hadn't had a decent pizza since we landed in Rome, so I ordered a kind of strange one with ham, olives, an egg, mushrooms, and artichokes. DELICIOUS! I ate the whole thing.
Phoenix of course ordered way too much food, and then wanted to steal my dessert. Lame. But doesn't she look gorgeous in her Francesco Totti AS Roma shirt?
We caught a cab back to the hotel, and then Phoenix wanted to shower in our massive, spacious shower. WARNING - NAKED PICS OF A HOT CHICK INCOMING
It felt completely natural and heavenly as always sleeping with Phoenix. We definitely have a connection in the bedroom (save your comments losers).
Saturday was our last day in Rome and I wanted to make sure we went to Vatican City. Obviously my real name is Christian and both of my parents are Catholic. I was raised Catholic my entire life as were my brothers. So even though I am clearly not a religious man, The Vatican has always appealed to me as a travel destination. I woke Phoenix up early and clearly she wanted to sleep in.
And here we are.
The official name for this church is the Basilica Papale di San Pietro in Vaticano and it is MASSIVE. Check out its history - HERE The line to get into the place is massively long as well. Not good times. This is the church is 5 pictures from left to right. With Phoenix' head making an appearance in the last one. lol
We waited in line for a good 20-30 minutes before we reached the metal detectors. Then passed into another line where Phoenix was stopped for her shorts (clearly she forgot about the white shawl from two days ago). So she had to run out on the street and buy this hot black scarf to wear around her waist.
Getting close to the entrance of the church is crazy because of the beautiful and decorative front.
Then I stepped inside and was immediately awe-struck. How beautiful, intricate, and perfect is this church?
We walked up to the front and took a few pictures along the way.
Here is a replica of St. Peter entombed.
Here is a statue representing Saint Veronica
Here is a statue representing Saint Theresa.
There were about 10 confessionals located throughout the church (again - get your minds out of the gutter fools!).
The back of the church was really cool as well. Notice the dove in the stained glass window.
The ceilings were so high and somehow was intricately carved with all sorts of things.
There was a list of all the Pope's throughout history.
Phoenix enjoyed these cherubs
The Swiss Guards are an organization that protects the Pope and the cardinals within Vatican City. They accomplish this by wearing ridiculous outfits that cause everyone to laugh and point.
Okay with the Basilica down, we walked over to the Vatican Museum. I knew it had a bunch of cool things in it, but most importantly it is the site of the Sistine Chapel and Michaelangelo's famous "Touch of God" ceiling artwork.
The main courtyard houses this famous sculpture.
Then there is long walk around the museum and up stairs. Seriously its a good mile walk at least from start to finish.
The best part about the museum is all of the work done on the ceilings. It was truly amazing. I can't say the word amazing enough in this entry.
There is a hallway full of maps and globes. This was my favorite room. I loved the old geography and how wrong some of it was.
Finally we got to the Sistine Chapel. There was a guard there telling people to be quiet and there are no lights on in the room, just natural light. Oh and no photos either....yeah right....I snapped one without a flash really quickly.
After the Museum, once again we grabbed some gelato. I can't help it, its great tasting stuff.
Then it was a quick nap in the hotel room, and dinner at yet another pizzeria.
Phoenix is probably talking to me, but honestly you can see what I am concentrating on in this picture.
Dessert was a delicious lemon cake.
Phoenix was already getting sad about going back to Los Angeles.
We spent our last night together listening to Jay Mohr and Sklar Brothers podcasts in our room, cuddling, and just reconnecting.
I was mainly reconnecting with her perfect booty. :)
Then at 2am we woke up to watch UFC135 illegally streamed on my laptop (sorry Dana White).
Then it was on to the airport to head back to London. Phoenix was getting all misty eyed on me.
We said our goodbyes before she got onto her plane to head back to Los Angeles and I headed back out to the farm.
We had an excellent trip full of mirth and merryment. We didn't fight or argue a single time (with the slight exception of me forcing her to walk and walk and walk). She has grown up a lot in the 4 plus years I have known and that is definitely a good thing.
I hope she had a memorable and enjoyable time in Rome. Now what country will I be visiting next? Thailand perhaps? :)
