I just don't understand my life sometimes, I really don't. Today should have been a good day that started well and ended well, but for some reason it didn't. It rarely does actually. And I can't put my finger on why that is. Is it all me? Do I have a part in all of this? Maybe, I would like to believe I don't, but fuck who knows?
Do I have unrealistic expectations of what people should do in regards to me? Do I have unrealistic expectations of people in general? I struggled and pondered this all night after saying some things that were out of line to 2 good people in my life.
My day started like most days, I woke up, took my vitamins, showered and shaved, dressed, and hit the road for work. I was booked today with Red Light District for Mark Wood and Francesca Le. Mark and I are pretty good friends, and I helped him meet Laura at Naughty America, who in turn booked him for a bunch of scenes, in which he killed it as he has been doing for almost 10 years now. As part of our quid pro quo, he throws me a bone and gives a me a scene in the movies he directs when he gets a chance.
Unfortunately instead of the director looking like this today........
I got this director instead..................Damn, what a downer!
Today I was working with Elena Heiress in a big butt movie, Smothered and Covered #7. She is 28, from the Bay Area but now lives in Los Angeles, and hasn't done a whole lot of scenes. She initially wanted to be girl-girl only, but that didn't work out (surprise, surprise) and now she has been doing boy girl scenes. She admitted that she has only done maybe 35 scenes, but that should be more than enough to know what to do.
By the way, girls that are girl girl only are always suspect and should be regarded with caution. Very few have turned out to be good performers in boy girl scenes. Usually they are girl girl only because of boyfriends or other hang ups that will adversely affect the scene.
I was very attracted to her, she is tiny (5'2), has nice fake tits, is very cute, and has a huge ass that's really round. She seemed like she was in a good mood, and so I thought it was going to be an easy scene and a good day. Oh and she loves soccer (football) and is a huge supporter of Chivas and Atlas in the Mexican League. Did I mention her ass is ridiculous?
Let's move in for a slightly closer look.....
We started the scene in the really cool weight room that Red Light District has built into their offices. She was stretching, and as the typical "gym guy" (not that big of a stretch for me), I wandered over to give her a few unsolicited pointers.
One thing leads to another, and suddenly she is putting that gigantic ass on my face and making me like it! It was a great intro for the scene, it flowed well, and visually must have looked pretty good. We finished taking stills of the video we just shot and moved back down into the studio.
The actual scene didn't go quite as well. She is a strange girl, if was as if she had an invisible wall up during the entire time. Her eyes were mostly closed, as she was off in some other place far, far away. It was weird, actually. She would do everything you asked of her, but in a robotic, repetitive way that wasn't genuine. Does that make sense?
The biggest downer to me was that she was terrible in reverse cowgirl. It's not that hard to lean back and let me do all the work, but she kept leaning forward and putting all of her weight on my legs. I love it when girls act like they don't know what they are doing...........I see right through that. Come on now girl, you know how to fuck.........puhleez.
I died at the end of the scene. After shooting the softcore, doing the entire scene, doing the stills.....I was done. I asked her for help and she did, but if I didn't ask her, she was turned the other direction staring into space. Good times!
But let's not go overboard, it was a pretty good scene. Her ass is incredible, she does a decent scene energy-wise, and the pop shot was really good (much better than normal for me!). I think Mark was happy with how it turned out.
After the scene, I filled out paperwork in their office, and then stopped by to see Michael Stefano. He is now the general manager of Red Light, and has a pretty sweet office. Notice the brace on his forearm....that's from shooting camera so much that he developed tendinitis. Wow, a real porn related injury!
After finishing up, I took them to lunch at the Country Deli......surprise, surprise. Oh speaking of the Jewish peoples....Happy New Year to everyone of the Jewish persuasion. I sent Daphne Rosen, Fran at LA Direct Models, and Renae at New Sensations a celebratory text, but after that I didn't know any other practicing Jews besides Steve Orenstein, the owner of Wicked Pictures, and he isn't exactly on my speed dial.
We had a good lunch and bullshitted about all kinds of things. They are really goofy around each other, as the pictures plainly show. He will never admit it, but she dotes on him and its pretty awesome. They always have very sage advice for me about not only the business but life in general, and I am glad they are my friends.
I had the vegetable beef soup and the tuna melt with potato salad. It was great, until I was halfway through my workout and still burping up tuna melt. Gross.
I am currently on a weird sleep schedule (what a shock I know), where I wake up really early like 6am, and then by 4 or 5pm I am exhausted and need a nap for an hour or two. Today, I tried to drive home after lunch, but ended up asleep in my car in the parking lot of a Toys'R'Us. Yikes! Woke up after an hour or so, and headed for the gym.
I spoke on the phone to Kevin at Type 9 Models for a long time today. He made some changes in his office staff that positively affect me, and that made me pretty happy. His agency is really blowing up, he has more than 80 girls now and many of them work a lot. I am booked with 2 of his girls this week, so I am glad things will be smoother for me in the future.
I hit the gym around 7pm up near where I live. I cycled for 60 minutes, then lifted back and biceps, and finished up with some abs. I wanted to run or swim, but it was already 10pm and I was caught up in the middle of some texting/phone drama.
I am not going to rehash any of these discussions anymore, but there were two of them going on at the same time. When I am tired, I get really sarcastic and really nasty, and it shows. I hate getting in arguments late at night because I am much more ornery and mean. People just don't seem to do what I assume that they are going to do. A friend once told me that you can't make people like you, and trying to make that happen will drive you crazy. Very sound advice. I just feel like I am a likeable person, and I enjoy meeting people, and it hurts when people don't like me....I can admit that.
It made the end of my evening really sour. I am starting to feel boxed into my life, and it sucks. Only six more days until I get back to London and my favorite city in the world. Maybe I will get lost out there and never return.....the only time anyone sees me is in a Where's Waldo crowd shot at Stamford Bridge. lol
Chin up fella, live is, as they say, a rollercoaster and you've just gotta ride it! ;-)
Posted by: Dazza | September 30, 2008 at 12:13 PM