I talk to Monstar pretty frequently, mostly while making my 30 minute drive home from the valley each evening. He is an interesting dude, who always gives me a fresh perspective on a lot of issues and questions I have. Instead of focusing on the negative tonight (as I am prone to do), I tried to focus on the positive. Monstar is currently doing public relations for Audrey Bitoni, Brooke Haven, Gianna Lynn, Eva Angelina, and Stormy Daniels. I am a big fan of all five of these girls, so I was happy to hear about all the good things that they are up to.
The last few weeks have really tested my mental discipline in the face of many hurdles and obstacles that I have to overcome. I have always considered myself mentally tough, I have to be in order to keep my focus in the dangerous waters of this business. As yesterday proves, even people I barely know have agenda's against me, I have to be vigilant at all times.
As the year crawls out of summer and into fall, and my blog is settling into a nice rhythm, the question that I get asked more and more is if I am really going to stop blogging on December 31st, 2008. The answer to that simply is yes. This blog is simply a good way to record my daily activities, thoughts, and interactions. The fact that is has become so popular is a side effect that I didn't realize, but still appreciate. I work very hard on this blog, so with my hard work, I think I should be proud of the rewards. I get at least 10 emails a day telling me how much they love it (plus another 5 asking how to get into the business....sigh).
Obviously with every positive there is usually a negative as well. This blog has also made me a few enemies, although I would posit that those people were my enemies previous to this blog, they are just vocalizing that now. This year has seen the loss of a few "friends" and highlighted many of my unique stresses within the business.
But let me say that I continue to move forward with my head held high and a smile on my face. Every time something negative threatens to affect my sanity, one of the many friends I have made in this business will pick me up. I am fiercely loyal to my friends, Derick Pierce, David Lord, Laura, Ben English, Joey Silvera, Renae at New Sensations, Demi Delia, Jonnie Darkko, Fran, Lexi Belle, Regina and Jordan Septo, Alan Stafford, Monstar, Lisa Ann, Mike Sullivan, the list is long and distinguished. These are the people that I can turn to for advice or to bounce thoughts and ideas off of. I treasure all of them a lot.
I did in fact have a scene today. Like I stated a few days ago, this month seems to be anal sex month, as Joey Silvera called me to do another Strap Attack scene today, with a new girl to the business (although she is DEFINITELY not new to the BDSM world).
Mz. Berlin is 29, from Louisiana, and actually has a bachelor's degree from LSU. She is a very impressive and confident girl who commands attention when you are in the same room. She has done a grand total of 2 boy girl scenes so far, but after seeing her absolutely perfectly awesome boobs, I think she will catch on quickly with many directors/producers.
The scene today was pretty intense, she doesn't pull any punches (literally) and I came close to reaching my breaking point. When I say breaking point, I don't mean crying for my mother and sucking my thumb, I mean grabbing her by the fucking neck and choking the shit out of her. But I kept it under control and allowed her to do her thing. She is very skilled and very experienced, so the scene flowed very well. One note, she is very adept at squeezing her vaginal muscles, and it felt so fucking good when she did. What a nice touch.
We chatted a bit after the scene. She mentioned that she works for Kink.com up in San Francisco on a regular basis. Then she let slip this little tidbit "one of the people at Kink told me to be careful about working with you because you have done trannies". Wait a second, doesn't Kink own TS Seduction? How fucking hypocritical is that horseshit? It was hard not going on a 20 minute rant about the ridiculousness of that statement, but I (kind of) kept it in check.
One thing about people with college degree's, they tend to be avid readers, and Mz. Berlin is no different. She recommended two books that I should read, and both look interesting. - A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson, and The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene.
After saying our good-byes, it was time for my usual evening routine. I hit the tanning bed for my tan and hour nap. Except I went to a different salon than usual, and the bed was so hot, not only did I burn myself a little bit, but I didn't fall asleep at all. That's not good.
Oh, I almost forgot to mention that I haven't been getting much sleep in the last 10 days or so. This is because I am hooked on watching all of the Olympic sports that are on both the USA Network and MSNBC. Last night the men's basketball quarterfinals were on, so I was up at 5am watching the USA "Redeem Team" beat the shit out of Australia. Great game, but bad for my sleep pattern!
So back to the tanning salon, since I couldn't sleep there, I had to just head over to the gym and hope for the best. I ran 3 miles as a warmup and I wasn't feeling very well during the run, but I gutted it out as best I could. Then I went into the weight room and lifted shoulders, but I just didn't feel right the entire time. After finishing my lift, I hit the exercise bike, but after 16 minutes of cycling I couldn't carry on. I went over to the jacuzzi area, laid down on a deck chair and proceeded to pass out for about 45 minutes. Man, there is nothing like sleeping fully clothed in public at the gym. Jesus I am a tool.
After leaving the gym, I headed home to rest and recover from today's shoot and workout. Tomorrow my call time is 830am, which is really, really early. So I need to get a good night's sleep. Yeah right, track and field is in full swing!
Oh, I know something strange that happened to me today. About a month ago, I discovered Sandee Westgate's blog which is similar to mine (she even threw in a picture of her getting her toes done......about 4 months after I already did it! lol). - BLOG Anyway, it is obviously well written, informative, funny, and promotes the shit out of her website. - WEBSITE . Anyway, we have been emailing each other back and forth a few times, she wanted to thank me for sending her some traffic, and she was amazed at the strength of my readers. I like Sandee, she is a sweet person, who is a hard worker, and has carved out a great little life for herself.
So it really surprised me when I proposed meeting for lunch as a funny way to promote our blogs and take pictures of each other's food (she does the same thing with her food that I do). She wrote back, I can't because my boyfriend wouldn't like that? What the fuck? I almost fell out of my chair! What boyfriend gives two shits about his girlfriend's lunch plans? And it's a business lunch no less, does she think I am going to try to hook up with her over lunch? Seriously? I thought I was very clear about the humorous spin our lunch could have, suddenly I am trying to steal her away from him? I was (and am) still speechless. How does a smart, gorgeous, outgoing, hard working, confident woman still allow some dude to control her actions like that? I will never, ever, ever understand that if I live to be 100 years old. Insane!
The last thing for the day is my good friend Harmony Bliss! We haven't talked much this year, she has some surgery (and not the elective kind) and has been recovering back in the Northeast US. I am in the process of getting her to come back out to Los Angeles and do some more scenes (with me of course). We talked last night for the first time in a while, and she had just returned from a month in Croatia! How cool is that? She also sent me a few pics from the trip.....what an awesome girl she is. I hope she gets her happy ass out here soon. I need to play with her perfect boobs again. In the meantime, check out her website here - WEBSITE
Hey! I had a great time working with you and hope you get your chance for "revenge" in the future. And it wasn't a kink employee. It was a model I know in SF. Don't be a drama queen. Looking forward to checking out the books you recommended and having another go-round with you. xoxox- B.
Posted by: Mz_Berlin | August 21, 2008 at 12:21 PM
Say it ain't so!! christiansingstheblues is the best read on the web. Please rethink shutting it down.
BTW...Nice Top Gun reference..."The list is long and distinguished". lol "So's my Johnson"
Posted by: jmarchjr | August 21, 2008 at 02:58 PM
I'm really sad about the blog closing. You do entertain us on a daily basis. However, all of your days are similar except for a few you should consider a newsletter after closing. I like to read everyday even if it is the same.
Posted by: Josh561 | August 22, 2008 at 10:11 PM